acaseofyou | open post

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year for certain scams.

Can they, sure. Should they, probably not. Though I'd consider the health of actual dogs more than I would people who turn into them - or people in general.

Favorite is hard, but the first random fact that came to mind is that the Eiffel tower is taller in the summer. Also, Switzerland prohibits the ownership of just one guinea pig.

You want to join me on any this year? Now's the time for your favorite part: the planning.

Mostly I just don't want to start a Kindred/Lupine war because I gave some high ranking werewolf the shits by feeding him pizza as a distraction.

Those are pretty good, I have to admit. Didn't know either of those. Is there a reason for the guinea pig one?

I’ll join you for the planning, it’ll also be what I point out when people claim I’m not festive.

I’d just hope you compelled him to admit that’s the reason in front of the court if it did happen.

Yeah, they’re social animals. It’s considered animal cruelty apparently to keep just one by itself.

Can I get you to wear a little hat for it?

Don't know that I'm powerful enough for that to work. Our imaginary wolf would probably just spout off something about territories and domains if he doesn't rip me apart before we get that far.

Aw, that's the sweetest law I ever heard of. Probably the only sweet law in existence.

I'm not wearing an elf hat, Birdie. Not even if you had it made in black. Jingle shoes are also out.

Blackmail and extortion it is for the hypothetical werewolf, should it ever come to that.

I wonder how they enforce it, if they actually do. Do you have to bring a photo of one at home if one dies, to get it another companion? It is sweet though, logistics aside.

What about one little bell on a necklace?

I'll keep that in mind. Usually I just avoid them outright.

Probably from the end of the shops that sell them? Or like, if you have to register your pets, they'd probably keep up with how many you have that way.

Too easy for someone to grab onto in a fight.

Avoiding is probably the best option where possible.

Animal registry keeper is a position I know several would love to have. To look at animal names if nothing else.

Well I'm not gonna make you wear it in a fight. Just for the planning part. Never even has to leave your office.

Yeah. I'm not much of a fighter with people I could take, and I definitely can't take a werewolf. Figure my only other option if I can't avoid is playing nice and singing a lot.

The names really are something else. Even at the shelters. There's websites of them. Friend showed me one once that was a kitten named Chunky Nugget.

[OOC: Random aside, it's not his formal name but I absolutely as a nickname call one of my dogs Nugget, LOL. So that made me laugh.]

There's always the risk of a fight, Birdie.

That's a way of fighting that's just more roundabout. I'm not above throwing a fist, but often what lands hardest isn't what tangibly bruises.

It's better than just another Mittens. I've heard of cows being called Burger.

[ ooc: Honestly 'Nugget' is top tier animal nickname. I could think of nothing better. ]

Even with just the two of us in your office? You expecting someone to come in the window?

True, though I have to admit the tangible bruise kind can be a lot more effective than belting whatever comes into my head. At least until I learn how to use it to do damage.

Aw, that's just mean! Poor little cow. Can't even understand its name is food.

[OOC: It is, I'm a sucker for a good nickname, as silly as some can be.]

What's paranoid to one person is just good planning to the next.

Maybe if you could hit a really high note that makes someone's ears hurt.

People seem to lean into food nicknames as a general rule, even for partner terms of endearment.

[ ooc: See, and I let my brother get away with naming a cat Simon. Should've gone with Nuggs. ]

True. It's only paranoia until something happens, after all.

Maybe, but there is a way to make what I do with music do actual damage, but it takes some time to develop it. I've been on the receiving end and can tell you it's much more effective than a single high note.

What should your food endearment nickname be, then? Jerky?

[OOC: Aw, Simon is cute too, though! People names can be just as charming.]

Exactly. That's what I say when told suspicion shouldn't be a way of life.

I take it it's like psychic damage, then?

Should Dirtyhands really acquire a food nickname as well?

[ ooc: It was short for 'Siamese' somehow. ]

I know your stance on it, but that outlook would make you very good at being Kindred.

No, all flesh damage. Nearly lost my arm.

Yes. Yes Dirtyhands should. How about Cupcake?

[OOC: It's got alliteration going for it! My dog's name is Cicero and I call him my little Nugget so I really cannot talk, LOL.]

There's certain things you've told me about being Kindred that I admit are intriguing. Not to actually become one, but perhaps do more business with some one day.

Interesting. I'm glad you didn't lose a limb, but wound inflection through singing is a new one for me.

Dirtyhandling a cupcake just sounds wrong.

[ ooc: 'Cicero the Nugget' does have a good feel to it ngl. ]

Well, let me know when one day comes. I'll get you in touch with someone that'll appreciate you well enough to deserve your company.

Me, too. If I ever manage it, I'll keep you from being on the wrong side of me for a demonstration.

A real health code violation. Or a sex act.

[OOC: TY! Do you just have the one kitty?]

If you know of someone who'd make a good business partner now, I'm not opposed to a meeting being set.

Yes, that would be preferrable. I do enjoy my limbs and extremities. Drama has it's place, but at another's expense.

I was thinking it would likely be both.

[Nina somewhere, sometime, lets Birdie know about the nickname Waffles.]

[ ooc: There's also Lexi, named after a character from Grey's Anatomy by my mother. They're with her. ]

I know of a few, though they're not around here. I'll reach out and see if they want to expand anything this way, though.

Good, because I enjoy your limbs and extremities, too. We can have drama other ways.

So, a sex act that would cause a health code violation?

[ Kaz will probably be able to hear Birdie laughing about it from all the way in his office somewhen it happens. ]

[OOC: Aw, that's so cute! I love the name Lexi. I have one other doggo named Mara after a Star Wars character, so I can relate to your mother, LOL.]

Let me know what you find out.

Other people losing limbs for example.

That’s pretty much what came to mind, yeah.

[ ooc: Oh, friend, I love a good Mara SW reference. I still have an EU Han journal around somewhere. ]

Of course. Even if they're not expanding personally, they'll have clanmates around they might put forward. Just don't let on how much I've told you about things.

Did you have someone in particular in mind for this bit of target practice?

You think I could a song out of 'Dirtyhand my Cupcake' or is it a bit too far?

[OOC: Ahh, awesome! It's always lovely to meet a fellow EU fan. :D Mara is my fav SW character but Han is up there, too.]

I try and talk as little as possible in general. Save it up for when a speech is really needed.

A few Council members, brothel owners, and Fjerdan militia come to mind.

If you're performing on a pirate ship it might work.

[ ooc: We are rare but resilient! :3 And Mara is fantastic. Han is just an agitated wookiee man. ]

I'd like to hear one of those. A real rally, see how much pomp you put into it.

That can be arranged. Might take a while for me to get there, but I'm sure if they're gone by then you'll have new targets ready and waiting.

Oh, that's a good idea, though. Make it like a sea shanty. Another credit for That Guy.

[OOC: Indeed! And that's the best kind of man, really.]

I'll let you know the next time I need to swipe a gang away from somebody or embarrass a Councilman in public.

I'm sure I will. People like that spring up everyday to replace the ones that get whacked down. Like those moles.

It doesn't hurt that I know a pirate. Two pirates.

[Somewhere, Kaz is sure Nikolai has the urge to scream 'privateer!']

[ ooc: It's the wookiee proximity, instant elevation. ]

If you have to do it in the daylight please record it for me.

You know, the trick to that game is having one person for every two moles. Makes it a lot more manageable.

That is impressive. I can just see you now, out on the high seas, standing on the deck and looking very seriously over the water. Possibly scheming about a kraken or something.

I'd probably watch it too just to give myself tips for improvement.

That is a good ratio. I've done the one against the world, it got tedious.

I think Inej would make me walk the plank on her ship if I took over with schemes. Lantsov would likely be fine with it.

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