And that's it. Don Alonzo has made his claim for the city. It's over, in some capacity. In every capacity. In none at all, because they're kindred, and nothing really ends until they meet their Final Death.
Over, mostly, in that Birdie and Ouija are driven to the airport in a van with a very large box in the back that contains Lorelai.
She's quiet for most of the ride. A little shell-shocked, a little unresponsive and dazed, hardly hearing the conversation around her over the Fugue in her mind. As if proximity to her sire has turned up the volume, or maybe it's just the intensity of the night they've had and the fact she hasn't sung properly for too long. Maybe it just wants her attention again, instead of the subterfuge and plotting that got them this far, from a conspiracy in Michelle's car to a load of Rocky Mountain refugees in Anthony's van.
Both of them are a little worse for wear, too. Minimal fighting meant minimal damage, but it's still enough to have them both a little more slumped as they board the plane.
It isn't until it starts to taxi on the runway that Birdie comes back to herself. The first thing she sees is Ouija looking at her with that same concern, a little of someone else's blood in their hair, and the juxtaposition strikes her as so absurd in the moment that she starts to laugh.
The sound is a little unhinged and choked, but it's as if something inside her bursts, all those carefully maintained knots of tension and fear cut through in a single stroke just because of the look on their face, the realization that she's on a plane, with Lorelai and Ouija. The crystalline clear relief to know that she is finally leaving Denver behind. All of it crashes over her as she laughs, giggles, a little hysteric and with bloody tears in her eyes, helpless to do much to stop herself except put a hand over her mouth and let it run its course.
"You look," she says between hiccuping giggles, "god, you look so worried."
When she sees the blood on her hand after taking it away from her mouth Birdie looks a little surprised but can't stop herself from laughing even harder. Then she starts scrubbing the tears away, says, "Oh, shit, I'm gonna ruin the seats," which prompts another fit of giggles.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we have pet lesbian snakes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
(214):in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now (469):Pride? (214):thats a pack of cougars (469):go fuck yourself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My last letter I mentioned a regular, with the done-up hair and pretty accent? She's got industry connections and we're going out of NYC for a while. I'm closing out my lease and everything! I'm so excited! All this time marching and chanting and strategizing in the end feels like we're all just yelling at mannequins in a shop window or something. Nobody really listens, even when we've got those loudspeakers up at the front with folks telling stories about goes on over there. But they listen to music. If yelling and screaming doesn't convince anyone maybe a song will.
Anyways, you know how I get about it.
For now, just send return letters to the bar. Either I'll go pick them up or I'll call and have them forwarded over to me wherever I end up. Enclosed in this letter is a little gift for you since I don't have to pay rent this month.
I love you. Pass my love to Josh and Craig when you see them.
Your daughter, Birdie
-----
October 23rd, 1967
Mom,
Sorry I went so long without writing. Glad to hear all the news from home now that I've got the letters. I'll try to call sometime soon. Maybe even before you get this letter!
I'm being careful. Promise.
We went to Cleveland right after my last letter and now we're going to head to Nashville. After that we might go all the way to San Francisco! And I get to sing all the time, Mom. It's just what I wanted.
Enclosed is another gift.
Sending my love, Birdie
-----
December 12th, 1967
[ A Christmas card -- fairly generic, a cartoon Santa on the front and basic 'Merry Christmas!' on the inside in red. There is no other writing beyond a quickly scribbled, "Mom, Josh, and Craig," above it and, "Love, Birdie," below. ]
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
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Aliquam scelerisque sem quis quam efficitur, commodo scelerisque lacus auctor. Proin eu lacinia felis, eget posuere lorem. In convallis leo in ex pretium gravida. Vestibulum euismod erat mi, non tincidunt massa auctor rutrum. Vestibulum quis libero rutrum, accumsan diam nec, fringilla dui. Cras lorem ex, blandit ac massa dignissim, aliquet porta massa. Maecenas vel tristique orci. Sed purus risus, tempor vitae faucibus id, scelerisque eu lorem.
starter title;
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Aliquam scelerisque sem quis quam efficitur, commodo scelerisque lacus auctor. Proin eu lacinia felis, eget posuere lorem. In convallis leo in ex pretium gravida. Vestibulum euismod erat mi, non tincidunt massa auctor rutrum. Vestibulum quis libero rutrum, accumsan diam nec, fringilla dui. Cras lorem ex, blandit ac massa dignissim, aliquet porta massa. Maecenas vel tristique orci. Sed purus risus, tempor vitae faucibus id, scelerisque eu lorem.
starter title;
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Aliquam scelerisque sem quis quam efficitur, commodo scelerisque lacus auctor. Proin eu lacinia felis, eget posuere lorem. In convallis leo in ex pretium gravida. Vestibulum euismod erat mi, non tincidunt massa auctor rutrum. Vestibulum quis libero rutrum, accumsan diam nec, fringilla dui. Cras lorem ex, blandit ac massa dignissim, aliquet porta massa. Maecenas vel tristique orci. Sed purus risus, tempor vitae faucibus id, scelerisque eu lorem.
starter title;
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Aliquam scelerisque sem quis quam efficitur, commodo scelerisque lacus auctor. Proin eu lacinia felis, eget posuere lorem. In convallis leo in ex pretium gravida. Vestibulum euismod erat mi, non tincidunt massa auctor rutrum. Vestibulum quis libero rutrum, accumsan diam nec, fringilla dui. Cras lorem ex, blandit ac massa dignissim, aliquet porta massa. Maecenas vel tristique orci. Sed purus risus, tempor vitae faucibus id, scelerisque eu lorem.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Proin condimentum, augue a pulvinar convallis, sem enim tristique lorem, quis semper orci neque quis dolor. Integer at leo ligula. Mauris maximus neque ut ex porttitor, vel convallis augue tristique. In pulvinar efficitur sapien id luctus. Proin rhoncus sapien vitae purus tincidunt aliquam id in orci. Praesent sit amet sem tincidunt, mollis est vitae, luctus metus. Duis cursus diam arcu, sit amet eleifend sem aliquam et. Pellentesque vehicula odio sit amet arcu lobortis mollis.
starter title;
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starter title;
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starter title;
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Proin condimentum, augue a pulvinar convallis, sem enim tristique lorem, quis semper orci neque quis dolor. Integer at leo ligula. Mauris maximus neque ut ex porttitor, vel convallis augue tristique. In pulvinar efficitur sapien id luctus. Proin rhoncus sapien vitae purus tincidunt aliquam id in orci. Praesent sit amet sem tincidunt, mollis est vitae, luctus metus. Duis cursus diam arcu, sit amet eleifend sem aliquam et. Pellentesque vehicula odio sit amet arcu lobortis mollis.
*Melpominee only impacts emotions, and can't make characters do anything against their will or against their nature. Feel free to use this as you see fit, whether to get someone in the groove or have it go horribly wrong in whatever way most brings you joy.
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starter title;
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starter title;
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starter title;
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Proin condimentum, augue a pulvinar convallis, sem enim tristique lorem, quis semper orci neque quis dolor. Integer at leo ligula. Mauris maximus neque ut ex porttitor, vel convallis augue tristique. In pulvinar efficitur sapien id luctus. Proin rhoncus sapien vitae purus tincidunt aliquam id in orci. Praesent sit amet sem tincidunt, mollis est vitae, luctus metus. Duis cursus diam arcu, sit amet eleifend sem aliquam et. Pellentesque vehicula odio sit amet arcu lobortis mollis.
*Melpominee only impacts emotions, and can't make characters do anything against their will or against their nature. Feel free to use this as you see fit, whether to get someone in the groove or have it go horribly wrong in whatever way most brings you joy.
ooc;
Birdie is a little hippie vampire, practically a baby compared to most other vampires. There's info & permissions & a bite opt out/in as you please. If you need to grab me, you can pm this journal or get me @ fruitlets on Discord.
[ Waking up is always weird. One of those things she might never really get used to, even after all these years. There's no slow rise from the dark or the occasional daymares, just a sudden shift from corpse-like stillness to being fully present and aware.
Birdie isn't going to question too much about what's going on. Not immediately, though this is the first time she's come up from being knocked out on a different planet and she's confused and disoriented in a way that runs a lot deeper than usual when it's just the Fugue keeping her attention away from what's happening around her. Also the first time she's woken up to an automatic car note for an '83 stick shift Tercel. Definitely not going to look too deeply into how the person apparently in charge of 'people that wake up on a new planet for some reason' knew immediately to get her the one model at the yard that night with tinted windows when she'd asked how long it was until dawn. Even when things aren't completely disorienting, she isn't one to look a gift horse (shark? shark man? hard to tell, with the aesthetics and the helmets and the confusion, not that she's judging or anything—) in the mouth.
Just for peace of mind, though, she does check under the hood and kick the tires before taking the keys and the instructions on how to get to the city.
There are a lot of problems to contend with, laid out in front of her. The one at the top of her mind is what the fuck am I going to do here. Sure, Denver was a shitshow. She remembers clearly thinking, in the thick of the mess, that anywhere would be better than Denver, and Vegas was a good start aside from getting throwin into fountains. A good step toward better. Driving past (descriptiondescription), though, is giving her some doubts. Are there other Kindred around? Is there a Masquerade in place? Is there another Prince that's going to be terrible? A Space Inquisition?
Before Birdie can get to all that, close enough to the city to find a parking lot to stop in, she shifts gears and forgets to release the clutch, and the Tercel jolts and sputters to a stop right against someone else's car.
With a little effort, she gets the window down enough to stick her head out, braids and all, to shout: ]
Sorry! Been a while since I had to remember the clutch, I'm still feeling it out.
[ Thankfully she was already going pretty slow, so any damage is limited to dents and scratches of varying sizes. ]
tdm specific ⟫ title;
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another tdm setting ⟫ feeding;
[ One of the biggest issues facing her is blood. Where to get it, how to do it quietly. Trying very hard to pay attention to what's going on in the city around her so she can maybe tell if there's other Kindred around that want to make territories clear. It's bad to be found out, but sometimes it can be worse to get caught poaching.
Which is a fucked up concept to begin with, but also not one she wants to invite trouble from if she can help it.
Except, there's only so long she can go without. So many times she can wake at sunset, so many times she can use the blood she's got left to get through, before she starts to risk a frenzy and worse trouble than someone more powerful being annoyed with her. ]
Option A: maybe seeing her feed in public.
Option B: maybe she tries to feed on you.
panorama ⟫ busking;
[ Thankfully, there's a very low investment cost for busking. Birdie trades a couple rings for new(ish?) clothes, and wanders around until she finds a spot with good foot traffic. Takes a couple nights for her to time it right, dark but not when most people are asleep, but she sets herself up at a corner, guitar case open at her feet.
Melpominee is an easy thing to fall back on. Pushing a feeling into a song works like the muscle memory in playing them. It helps that she's heard weird feelings stuff has happened, makes it more likely her own influence will fly under the radar. Or flash like a big red warning light. Who knows? Birdie is going to do it regardless, as much out of well worn habit as not knowing what else to do.
She keeps the songs light, if only because it makes people more likely to tip her if they're feeling good than if she teases out loneliness or anger. Not every song has that push in it, but enough to influence, to catch a little attention and maybe get enough for a windowless room somewhere for a few nights.
The music lasts a while, through to the time the passersby dwindle too much to make anything significant. And even then, she'll keep at it, with a few breaks in between to adjust her guitar or pull the cash from the case and stuff it in a pocket or two. She even pauses a few times when she sees someone listening, lingering, to strum aimlessly and ask with an inviting smile: ]
Any requests? Don't promise I'll know it, given the circumstances, but if I do you'll hear it.
[ Honestly, even odds if they're from the same planet with the same pop culture, she might not know it or get the verses backwards. She still can't tell the difference between N'Sync and Backstreet Boys. ]
*Melpominee only impacts emotions, and can't make characters do anything against their will or against their nature. Feel free to use this as you see fit, whether to get someone in the groove or have it go horribly wrong in whatever way most brings you joy.
ooc;
Birdie is a musical hippie vampire, younger than a lot of other vampires but still old enough to be your grandma. There's info & permissions & a bite/powers opt in/out as you please. If you need to grab me, you can pm this journal or get me @ fruitlets on Discord.
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Over, mostly, in that Birdie and Ouija are driven to the airport in a van with a very large box in the back that contains Lorelai.
She's quiet for most of the ride. A little shell-shocked, a little unresponsive and dazed, hardly hearing the conversation around her over the Fugue in her mind. As if proximity to her sire has turned up the volume, or maybe it's just the intensity of the night they've had and the fact she hasn't sung properly for too long. Maybe it just wants her attention again, instead of the subterfuge and plotting that got them this far, from a conspiracy in Michelle's car to a load of Rocky Mountain refugees in Anthony's van.
Both of them are a little worse for wear, too. Minimal fighting meant minimal damage, but it's still enough to have them both a little more slumped as they board the plane.
It isn't until it starts to taxi on the runway that Birdie comes back to herself. The first thing she sees is Ouija looking at her with that same concern, a little of someone else's blood in their hair, and the juxtaposition strikes her as so absurd in the moment that she starts to laugh.
The sound is a little unhinged and choked, but it's as if something inside her bursts, all those carefully maintained knots of tension and fear cut through in a single stroke just because of the look on their face, the realization that she's on a plane, with Lorelai and Ouija. The crystalline clear relief to know that she is finally leaving Denver behind. All of it crashes over her as she laughs, giggles, a little hysteric and with bloody tears in her eyes, helpless to do much to stop herself except put a hand over her mouth and let it run its course.
"You look," she says between hiccuping giggles, "god, you look so worried."
When she sees the blood on her hand after taking it away from her mouth Birdie looks a little surprised but can't stop herself from laughing even harder. Then she starts scrubbing the tears away, says, "Oh, shit, I'm gonna ruin the seats," which prompts another fit of giggles.
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we have pet lesbian snakes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
(214):in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
(469):Pride?
(214):thats a pack of cougars
(469):go fuck yourself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion.
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Buried in a steel casket. Immortal.
She was lovely. Then things changed.
A penny saved, a whim squandered.
Rule the night. Rue the morning.
Saw her smile. Crashed the car.
Millions gathered protesting death. God laughed.
The war for peace. No survivors.
Masquerade party. I pose as reveler.
Sleeping with her. Dreaming of you.
Wandering Forever. No Heaven. No Hell.
The same sky, but worlds apart.
Scratching heard…from inside the coffin.
Monster under bed just wants friends.
Swinging 60s. Free love. Paying now!
Super cheap guitar; no strings attached!
Relaxing in my closed casket. Finally.
“You’re wrong.” “But who is happier?”
“Walk of Shame” or “Conqueror’s March”?
“I love you.” Missent text message.
Operation: ‘World Peace’, misguided, says Military.
It cost too much, staying human.
letters
Mom,
I'm gonna be going away for a bit. Don't worry!
My last letter I mentioned a regular, with the done-up hair and pretty accent? She's got industry connections and we're going out of NYC for a while. I'm closing out my lease and everything! I'm so excited! All this time marching and chanting and strategizing in the end feels like we're all just yelling at mannequins in a shop window or something. Nobody really listens, even when we've got those loudspeakers up at the front with folks telling stories about goes on over there. But they listen to music. If yelling and screaming doesn't convince anyone maybe a song will.
Anyways, you know how I get about it.
For now, just send return letters to the bar. Either I'll go pick them up or I'll call and have them forwarded over to me wherever I end up. Enclosed in this letter is a little gift for you since I don't have to pay rent this month.
I love you. Pass my love to Josh and Craig when you see them.
Your daughter,
Birdie
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October 23rd, 1967
Mom,
Sorry I went so long without writing. Glad to hear all the news from home now that I've got the letters. I'll try to call sometime soon. Maybe even before you get this letter!
I'm being careful. Promise.
We went to Cleveland right after my last letter and now we're going to head to Nashville. After that we might go all the way to San Francisco! And I get to sing all the time, Mom. It's just what I wanted.
Enclosed is another gift.
Sending my love,
Birdie
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December 12th, 1967
[ A Christmas card -- fairly generic, a cartoon Santa on the front and basic 'Merry Christmas!' on the inside in red. There is no other writing beyond a quickly scribbled, "Mom, Josh, and Craig," above it and, "Love, Birdie," below. ]
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God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
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physical affection.
mind reading.
fights, injuries and death.
romance and shipping.
smut.
notes.
⚠️ content warnings.
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set list
*Melpominee only impacts emotions, and can't make characters do anything against their will or against their nature. Feel free to use this as you see fit, whether to get someone in the groove or have it go horribly wrong in whatever way most brings you joy.
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starter title;
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arrival ⟫ 4wd;
tdm specific ⟫ title;
another tdm setting ⟫ feeding;
panorama ⟫ busking;
ooc;