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[acaseofyou]

they say that death is a tragedy it comes once, and it's over

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[noreasonneeded]

I entirely blame cultural osmosis for why I know exactly what you're talking about, including the guy from the kids show I never even saw.

[acaseofyou]

I never saw it, either! Outside like, a clip someone showed me once where he had a weird puppet. So now every time I hear that song I'm imagining a dude with a weird puppet having sex at the movies. Really unfortunate.

[noreasonneeded]

What's the saying, the heart wants what the heart wants, no matter how stupid it is?

[acaseofyou]

Something like that, yeah. The heart, sometimes, is just really into weird puppets.

[noreasonneeded]

I suppose there are worse things for a heart to fixate on, if one insists on keeping theirs active.

[acaseofyou]

For as active as my dead heart gets, don't think I've ever gone for someone with a weird puppet. So at least there's that.

[noreasonneeded]

Is it the existence of a puppet, or that particular puppet that's turned you off?

[acaseofyou]

That particular puppet. Most of the Muppets, for example, I would be fine with.

[noreasonneeded]

I liked how Miss Piggy always knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to say it.

[acaseofyou]

Right? Apparently at one point she had a tryst with John Denver.

[noreasonneeded]

You know what, good for her. Hope he brought the guitar to bed.

[acaseofyou]

I can already see him there with her, singing 'Annie's Song' as if he hadn't written it for his actual human wife.

[noreasonneeded]

"Piggy's Song" has the same number of syllables and ending sound, it could work.

[acaseofyou]

You're a genius. Maybe I'll add it to my setlist.

[noreasonneeded]

It kinda sounds like you wish you'd been the folk singer to end up in bed with Miss Piggy. Maybe a tribute will win her over now.

[acaseofyou]

If she would have me, it would be an honor.

[noreasonneeded]

If she ever starts touring the stages of Ketterdam, I'll make sure to introduce you two.

[acaseofyou]

I'll make sure Miss Piggy appreciates the gesture appropriately.

[noreasonneeded]

Oh good. Forget the Council, I wouldn't want to get on her bad side.

[acaseofyou]

She does have a mean right hook.

[noreasonneeded]

And she'd do anything to win in a fight. That's my favorite style.

[acaseofyou]

I've got a sneaking suspicion you're gonna recruit Miss Piggy.

[noreasonneeded]

I'm always on the lookout for fresh talent. That was one of my old jobs, anyways. Finding recruits for Haskell.

[acaseofyou]

What, exactly, was the interview process like? Don't figure you gave everyone little umbrellas.

[noreasonneeded]

Definitely no umbrellas. It depended on what they were being hired for, to be honest. What I need out of a spider isn't what I need out of a brawler. Normally I'd either find them in or create situations to where I could see how they'd react. Sometimes though they'd seek me out and try to impress me for a place in the gang. Normally, some degree of violence or risk-taking was involved.